Why
are you so downcast O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
These
words might have reflected my mood before the A.G.M. in November.
It seemed that many were now doubting the words from 2 Kings 19:29.
“This
year you will eat what grows by itself, and the second year
what springs from
that. But in the third year sow and reap, plant vineyards and eat
their fruit.”
This
prophetic word was brought by Pam Worsey at our day of prayer for vision in
September 2005 and seemed to me to indicate a clear three year programme,
starting when we handed over Flames of Fire
to New Wine after the 2005 conference.
This means the third year is just beginning, a year to plant and sow.
However this interpretation does not indicate what happens in year four,
we do not know what we shall reap, and so not all were convinced that we have a
future. Perhaps this was to be the year when we simply gave
away our money and left others to take up the challenges of preaching Renewal to
Wales.
I
felt that in spite of recruiting support from a few members gathered around our
stall in the Market Place of this year’s Flames of Fire we were not going to
have enough to form a new Executive.
We were making plans for a conference to be run jointly with ReSource and
lots of other good things seemed to be on the horizon but I was tired and
concerned that we might still fail our Lord.
Now
however I can report that the Lord has succeeded in holding us together.
We have a new treasurer, and we have three new Executive members and
someone to help improve the web-page.
Executive meetings will be on Saturdays and A.R.M.(Wales) has a new feel
about it.
But
I have also been thinking about our strapline and wondering if we are taking it
seriously enough. I have
personally been exploring contemplative prayer again, re-reading books that I
bought years ago. I am
absolutely convinced that we must look to the Lord to take us further into
prayer, he will search our hearts – and effectively test us on our personal
commitment to Renewal. We
speak of renewal but are we confident in the words we use - are we actually
prepared to walk in Renewal? We
know that we have the Holy Spirit within but is he allowed the freedom to act in
our lives?
I
am questioning myself as well as laying these thoughts before you.
Is my restlessness to do with my longing for God or am I hiding the fact
that I so often run from him?
I
love to just sit in his presence and trust him that I am where he wants me to
be.
It
is then that I can feel his love for me even when I have neglected him, but there
is a feeling of more and it is inexpressible because of the awesomeness of his
holiness. I sense
something of what it means to fear the Lord, I recognise that we must be
obedient to this loving awesome God, for he is a consuming fire.
The words that start Psalm 42:
As
a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and behold the face of God?
are
gentle and appropriate, as are many other Psalms that urge us to wait on the
Lord. But still there is a
restlessness that I think is to do with the fact that we like to be in control of our lives.
Do
I run away from God because there
are so many things that I want to do?
Most are to do with the church, or A.R.M.(Wales).
It might be that God wants me to return to a time of contemplation and I
am too busy to listen. If I
stop and just wait on him then I know that more will get done but………
Perhaps
other parts of this magazine will help me so I hope that they will also speak to
you. Steve
says, “Set your minds on
things above, not on earthly things”.
Bishop Saunders gives us the sources of his insight into Welsh poetry and Brian
attempts a recapitulation of what we heard of the inspiring talk from Saunders
that he gave us at the A.G.M.
Those
at the A.G.M. were keen that we should make an effort to encourage more members
and there was a desire to improve the presentation of the magazine.
We are taking this on board so look forward to a fresh look with the next
issue. But in the meantime we ask that you distribute
more copies and seek to find the best material.
How long I shall edit it is unknown I need to feel that it is what the
membership wants. The next
issue will be in April and it will probably be produced just three time a year
in future, this will make it easier to allow time for a printer to produce a
better product.
This
month’s cover might surprise you
– unseasonable you might think but we do see daffodils at Christmas these days
and nature is also confused – I have more roses in my garden than I’ve ever
seen before in December and some trees are still hanging on to their leaves.
Is the changing climate a sign that God is doing a new thing?
Or is it man’s influence on the environment?
I
can only remind myself that it is Advent and a time to think about Christmas and
the Kingdom impacting on the hearts of men and women in a new age.
Only as we let the infant Holy Child of Bethlehem
be born in us today, will we be ready for his second coming.
May we wish you a very Happy Christmas and may the Lord bless you abundantly in 2008.
Mary Newsom