…………..But I do not love God enough…..

The Flames of Fire Celebration went well, we experienced great blessing and healings.   We really felt God’s love but………..how are you responding now that  you are back in your own church?    Is it a safe place?   Have you been challenged to come out of your “comfort zone”?

 

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.                                                    (Deuteronomy 6 v 5)


For some months I have been reflecting on the fact that I do not love God enough!    I know what it is to come close, resting in His love for me but my love and service have seemed very inadequate.   For He has a right to ask for everything …………   At Flames of Fire we sang so many songs indicating our good intentions so before we leave them for another year let us submit to the new challenges that were raised in us.

 We all recognise the first commandment and have no doubt thought about it many   times, but I want to ask you a question.   “How well are you keeping it?” Before I hear protests I want to suggest that this is the most difficult commandment to keep, and for many reasons.  

How can we love someone we do not know very well, how can He be more important than spouse or children?     We love those who love us, those who need us, those who respond to us……….does God fit into those categories?

The best known verse in the Bible is John 3 v 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life……”     And Jesus showed that love on the cross as He surrendered to His Father’s will, and took our sins and pain upon Himself.     So we have to decide how we face up to that love for us as individuals.  “He died in my place……so that I might be saved ”.    

I can only repeat the words of Isaac Watts “Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all!”

And yet……..if it is as clear as that there should be no problems in the Church.    We should be able to agree on how we live according to the will of God, there should be one Church rather than thousands of denominations, we should be able to worship together in love of God and for each other and the world would see that it works, the world would see what we stand for………..

Earlier this year, I was at a gathering of Christians and there was a call to express our love for God, over and over again repeating the words, “Jesus I love you………”  BUT I found that I couldn’t join in, not because it wasn’t Anglican but because I realized that I didn’t love God enough!

As if that wasn’t enough of a shock, I later discovered that I was misunderstood when I confessed this to fellow Anglicans.   Those in Renewal so easily assume that because we know what the cost was for Jesus we will automatically love God as a response.     My question  then is   “Where’s the evidence?”

For years I have been guided by the words in John 14.   Verses 15 and 23 both say, “If you love me you will obey me, or…. you will keep my commandments.”    This causes me to think more about how we express our love for God.   Saying it is one thing, doing it is………..  Yes, I love to worship, I love to spend time with God, both God as Father and God as Lover, but where is the evidence of my love for God?     If we really realised how much God loves us then we would be a very different Church and our love for Him would be such that  His love could be more effective in the world.   We are stumbling blocks, and our evangelism  ineffective and our service weak.     So I ask again “Does God need us?……….”

To give a partial answer God allows us to do things our way, to run the Church our way.    But if we stand back and allow Him to do those same things His way, the whole scene changes and people turn to Him.   We then find that He has used us, but His is the glory, our part is one of submission and obedience that can only come out of love.   His need is for us to be available.   It is only a partial answer for it still leaves the question “How?”    That will be answered in deep unhurried prayer which is a flow of love in two directions.    Words need not come from us but we will feel that love for those we pray for, if something has to be done we will know what it is.

I came away from Flames of Fire this year with more certainty on how I should serve the Lord.    Not that my season of meditation and contemplation is over but hopefully moving into a time when “Mary and Martha” are  more balanced.    I was greatly helped by the insights Gerry Reeder gave into the “Song of Solomon”, and I was challenged further, by other speakers, to be what God wants and serve as He wants.

Archbishop Rowan’s Bible study challenges us to be the church blessed by our Lord, so are you ready to “grieve for the church?”    I hope that I have given the flavour of his reading of the Beatitudes.

Niall and Gerry Griffin have sent us a very moving article, “Through Cancer with Christ”.   This magazine is again a full volume, may it bless you as you read and allow the Lord to speak to your heart.

Our thanks to Peggy Chapman for her design of our new cover, and also for the promotion leaflet.   

Mary Newsom

 

 

 

Return to contents Issue 21