If you love me…..you will……………….
This
year’s Flames of Fire seemed to be taking us deeper than ever
before into the love of God. We
were becoming aware of just how much we need Him.
I was thrilled, this is what we have prayed for for so long.
But I came away asking questions of myself and my motives, I came away
asking even more questions of God.
It was back in 1996 that God laid on my heart the need to pray for a Holy
Church and for our willingness to surrender to His will in all things. I soon realised that if I was to pray that, then
I had to change, for I personally could make no difference except by allowing
Him to have His way. I
felt that He wanted my space, that somehow seemed more than just my hands and
voice, it was not just echoing the prayer of St.Teresa of Avila. Although not yet in the place that God intends I dare
to continue with the prayer…….but I came away wondering if I had the
authority to pray for others to travel this same road.
When
I looked at the bargains in the book shop, one book “Surprised by the
Voice of God” by Jack Deere seemed to be the one I should buy.
I remembered reviews of it
back in 1996 and now it has been reprinted ten times.
I opened it a few days after returning home and started to read, but it
was familiar, I’d read this story before!
I vaguely remembered that I had previously bought the book under similar
circumstances in 1999. It
looked different the new copy had a blue cover, the earlier one was brown but
the words were the same. I
had never finished reading it, my bookmark was at the start of chapter 16,
the section headed “Why doesn’t God speak to me like that?”.
Clearly there was more to learn and so I turned to chapter 20 to discover
“The Kind
of People Who
Hear the Voice of God”.
I then read the concluding three chapters before returning to fill in the
gap from chapter 16-19.
This
book is indeed a blessing but it took me again into realm of Holiness of being
willing to become like Jesus, humble and totally available to God.
My thoughts went back to Christina Baxter’s talk when someone had asked
a question about the best time and indeed how much time we need to spend in the
presence of God. This book
was reordering my thinking, it was not a matter of finding time for God but
reminding me that all my time belonged to God.
Jack Deere was pointing out that God often spoke at the most inconvenient
times, even after we have wasted time, money and energy organising an event or
mission for Him! He reminded
me that when Jesus first called the twelve he made it clear to them that their
first task was to be available for him, not
ministry. “And he
appointed twelve, whom he also named apostles, to be with him, and to be sent
out to proclaim the message, and to have authority to cast out demons.”
(Mark 3:14-15)
God has spent years turning me from an “active” to a
“contemplative” Christian. We
all love to serve Him and in our enthusiasm can so easily start organising Alpha
Courses and other activities at the wrong time and for the wrong reason - like
bringing people into our church.
Through just
sitting in his presence, praying and reading I have learned that our service
must come out of obedience not out of our love for Him.
So
“If
you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he
will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of
truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him.
You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.”
(John 14:15-17)
I
loved these verses and promise long before I realized the full implications,
verse 23 adds a further insight “Those who love me will keep my
word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home
with them”.
Not
only are we promised the Holy Spirit but the whole of the Trinity living within.
This is mind blowing.
Although
I was excited when I saw people wanting more of God I was reminded that we are
not all ready. Will it
always be so? Am I
“anxious” to drag the church into the presence of God?
God is longing for His church to respond, to move on from the excitement
of a wonderful conference into the intimate presence of God.
Are we afraid that intimate contact could bring pain because God would
take control? But we
have a loving gracious God who will never push us, He will wait patiently for us
to respond. He loves us
so much that He has put Himself into the vulnerable
position of being rejected or of being wanted for the wrong reasons.
Yes
we want his healing, we want the release from our fears and problems, we want
revival… but do we really want Him?
We saw miracles of healing and we all rejoiced in that, we want them to
become every day occurrences in our churches,
we have a great and powerful God so why not?
When
Jesus was on earth he preached the
Kingdom and his preaching was accompanied by signs and wonders, it was an
essential part of the message.
In 1998 we went to the Holy Land and there were several occasions when I
was unexpectedly overcome by the presence of God.
One significant one in Capernaum.
I found myself weeping and God reminded me that Jesus had cursed
Capernaum.
’Then he began to reproach the cities in which most of his deeds of power
had been done, because they did not repent.
“Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe
to you, Bethsaida! For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Tyre
and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes.
But I tell you, on the day of judgment it will be more tolerable for Tyre
and Sidon than for you. And
you, Capernaum, will you be exalted
to heaven? No, you will
be brought down to Hades. For
if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained
until this day. But I tell you that
on the day of judgment it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom than for
you.” ‘ (Matthew 11:
20-24)
I
felt then that we have to want God more, we have to love him more and until we
do we shall fail to obey Him. I
pray that having recognised our need of God we shall start wanting Him.
When we become the Holy Church preaching the Kingdom in obedience to the
Spirit working within us, we shall see His power.
This
issue contains the first conference reports.
I hope that they encourage
you to come next year. If
you have received from it in any of the past years we need you to help make it a
place where others can receive. But
God has so much to give that you will be blessed just being there.
In
my last editorial I quoted 1 John 2:6.
A friend alerted me to the fact that Mary Pytches had used this text for
a talk at New Wine so not wanting to miss out on her insights I wrote to Mary.
Her article appears next.
I
am also grateful to Bruce Collins for his contribution on the progress of New
Wine Ministries and to Geoff Waggett for a challenging article on the
destructive influence on our moral standards by the media. That should make us think!
I often look on the Internet for items on Renewal and through that met a young man from Canada who runs his own web-page. I found it so refreshing to find his articles written for young people. His article “Calling Young People to Renewal” encouraged me so I contacted him. I hope that it will encourage you and you will check out his web-page.
So it’s rather a mixed bag this time but the overall theme I hope is still to go deeper, to draw nearer to Jesus. I have given you an outline of Archbishop Rowan’s conference talk as he points out to us exactly what we were asking when we said, “We Need You Lord”. I urge you to buy some of this year’s tapes
Mary Newsom