It
is no secret that the things we do produce results, our actions have
consequences.
My
enthusiasm for DIY meant that I was involved recently in an accident at home.
As
a consequence of enthusiasm I spent several weeks in hospital.
Furthermore I will need to spend some considerable time having
physiotherapy to help me walk again unaided.
However, another consequence is that I now have time
(albeit imposed) to follow the old Green Cross Road Safety slogan; STOP
LOOK AND LISTEN.
So
many of us are busy people- I pretend I’m not – I tell myself I’m
disciplined and that I take time for prayer and Bible study.
I always take my annual leave and days off, and to show how balanced I am
I will admit to watching East Enders.
Reality of course is something quite different.
I have always worked full- time and full- time today usually means much
more. I had
worked along side my husband in ministry for 40 years and raised three energetic
sons and three months prior to my accident I had just completed a long and
demanding academic project.
My husband had taken early retirement and with the completion of the
project at Christmas, I was now free to do all the things I had put off for so
long. WRONG. At
the time of writing this article I have to depend on my husband for most
activities I had previously taken for granted, like making a cup of tea or
driving into town. I
have to use a wheelchair to go any distance, although I’m becoming
increasingly proficient at tottering around on elbow crutches!
So,
one moment I am planning to dress ceiling beams with linseed oil, take the dog
to the vet, collect my husband from a meeting and get some gardening done before
preparing a meal. The
next moment I am flat on my back and my right leg crushed.
What
did all this mean? Things
like this happen to other people, not me!
I am the person who does for others!
Where was I going to get my sense of value now that I could no longer
‘do’?
My
inquisitiveness demands that I ask questions and look at events as they unfold.
So I asked how and why did this happen to me?
The short and simple answer was that I was too busy and preoccupied to
prepare properly My
pride in my ability to undertake and accomplish tasks was in overdrive.
Where
was my God in all this? The
longer answer to this question was He was there before I fell, when I fell and
is with me right now. How do
I know this?
· A telephone call from our daughter-in-law
minutes before I fell meant a hand set was unusually right beside me so I could
ring 999 (usually we are hunting the house for it when the ‘phone rings);
· A superb crew of the Paramedics, cared for me
with great calmness, confidence and superb skill;
· A hospital chaplain who always seemed to
appear at the right time;
· An unforgettable Easter Day service made
possible by people who willingly gave up part of their Sunday to push me – and
others like me - to the hospital chapel;
· Brothers and sisters in Christ who provided
for us with lots of ‘Cottage Pies’ and home cooked meals, prayer support and
visiting;
· Last and by no means least being able to come
home to a loving family;
When
will I be able to walk again? I do not know, this is in God’s hands.
How will this healing process come about?
Again, I do not know.
However, I feel there are three scary, yet vitally important components
to my healing. One
is that I cooperate with His healing process.
In addition to prayer, this also means cooperating with the skills of the
various professionals.
The second is by asking God what He wants me to learn at each stage of my
recovery. Does
He for example, want me to get rid of things He finds unacceptable and make room
for that which is pleasing to Him?
Is my pride in my ability ‘to do’ high on His list?
I think this is more than likely.
The third is trusting that He knows and loves me and will do what is good
for my ultimate well-being.
Whilst I may say “Of course I will trust and obey”, nevertheless, I
think these things are scary because it means letting go of the familiar and
moving into unknown territory.
For so many of us a familiar renewal experience.
What
is God saying to me at a result of my reflections?
As a consequence of my accident I was provided with an opportunity to
listen to what God was saying to me.
This was on two fronts.
One was in terms of my own personal awareness, and the other was
restating the needs.
At the beginning of my accident I was very strongly aware of the Presence
of God. So
much so that I did not want to leave my ‘mountain top experience’.
I had ‘permission’ to reassess my own lifestyle but not yet launch
into activities to meet the needs of others.
By the very nature of my situation I am unable ‘to do’ but more
importantly I have not been told how or when ‘to do’.
Patience must replace pride.
My
admission to hospital was just before Holy Week.
Clearly, I was not going to spend Holy Week and Easter in my usual way.
I found that very hard to accept.
I wanted to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ singing full tilt
“Jesus Christ is risen”, yet in an incredible way my needs were met.
My
insight into the physicality of the Crucifixion was astonishing. I had nails and rods through one leg, His wounds were
multiple. I had effective and
expensive pain relief, what did He have?
I had caring family, friends and professionals.
He was virtually abandoned. When
we are in trouble we cry for help, the Spirit within us intercedes and Our
Father responds with love to our situation. However, we are His hands and feet here on earth and as
he is sensitive to our needs so too we strive to be sensitive to His directions
with His timing for the furtherance of His will.